Glee: “Special Education” Quotes

Quotes from ‘Glee’ episode 9 of season 2, “Special Education”–

“You used to be sort of unlikable but now I pretty much feel like punching you every single time you open your mouth.” — Quinn

“It means your boyfriend is full of crap, hobbit.” — Santana

“That’s right yen-til; your sweetheart’s been lying to you because he and I totally got it on last year.” — Santana to Rachel

“I know I’m more talented than all of you – Britney Spears taught me that.” — Brittany

“Sign up for glee club? Why don’t you come to my church on Sunday and ask my cousins to sign up for the clan!” — Black football player

Puck: “Are you an angel?”
Lauren Zizes: “Screw you.”

“You are as brilliant and talented as you are irritating.” — Kurt to Rachel

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Man Crush of the Day: Adult film star Austin Wilde

If there’s one male adult film actor (classy way of saying porn star) that I definitely could get behind it’s Austin Wilde. Just Google image search him and you’ll be bombarded with a flurry of eye-catching images of what makes him one of the industry’s most crush worthy personalities.

His chiseled body comes in part from his days in the Navy (no Village People references, please) and lists sports, working out and outdoor activities as his favorite pastimes. If you’re interested in seeing more of him or finding out more about the origins of his porn name then head over to his website, on Facebook or follow him on Twitter @AustinWilde.

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Man Crush of the Day: Stylist Kyan Douglas

Every time Kyan Douglas appears on Rachel Ray, I feel a little giddy. Perhaps it’s his perfectly styled hair or his ridiculously tight jeans, but whatever the case, Kyan is one hot piece of a man. You probably remember him from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and he’s (in my opinion) really the only good thing to come out of the show. He pursued a career in acting but also has an interest in yoga, healing and religion.

What else makes Kyan crush worthy? Besides his pretty fit bod it’s probably the fact that he’s not afraid to sport the hairy chest. Unlike the others of the now defunct “Fab 5” he always seemed, and still seems, pretty low key and tame compared to the flaming mess that is Carsen Kresley. He’s on Twitter @KyanDouglas but unfortunately doesn’t seem to update it much.

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Glee: “Furt” Quotes

Quotes from Glee season 2, episode 8 episode “Furt” –

“Long story short – you’re having a glee wedding!” — Kurt

“Which is why I just prefer to think of the homeless as outdoorsy. So shine on urban campers. You smell like adventure.” — Sue Sylvester

“Sue, you can’t tame the tiger. You’ve read my tattoos!” — Male newscaster to Sue

“Trust me on this. I’ve been planning weddings since I was 2. My Power Rangers have gotten married and divorced in so many combinations it’s like they’re Fleetwood Mac.” — Kurt

“Lady, I can’t suspend a kid because he scares you. High school is a dry run for the rest of your life. It’s rough! People can be mean.” — Sue Sylvester to Kurt

“Lady, this kid lays a finger on you and you come straight to me and I will expel him faster than a Thai takeout place can read back your order.” — Sue Sylvester

“I bet people say you look mannish but you know what? I think it’s perfectly all right for a woman to be handsome.” — Doris Sylvester

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Album Review: The Black Eyed Peas’ ‘The Beginning’ [DELUXE]

A couple of weeks ago I read, out of the blue, that The Black Eyed Peas had a new album coming out. I was surprised but excited because I felt The E.N.D. (The Energy Never Dies) was probably one of the best albums of 2009. They even went so far as to title this album The Beginning to give the sense that this was going to be a prequel/sequel to the massive big hit of a last album. Well, like most sequels or prequels, this one pales in comparison to that first album. Rarely do I do this but right off the bat I’m going to say it – do not get this album. It is pure, unapologetic, utter crap. It lacks substance, it feels lazily slapped together, doesn’t have one song that screams “hit” and the lyrics are some of the weakest of the group’s history so far.

Track-by-Track:
The album begins with “The Time (Dirty Bit)” that samples the Dirty Dancing theme “I’ve Had The Time Of My Life”. Honestly, if you take out the sampling of such an iconic song you’re left with a rather abysmal song that has lyrics that address pretty much absolutely nothing at all. This tracks feels like it was conceived to be the new “I Got a Feeling” but doesn’t come close at all to the greatness, spontaneity, and funness of that track. “Light Up the Night” is supposed to be a party song as it sings of rocking and stirring up all sorts of craziness during a night of partying. Well, the singing feels flat and overall production lazy. “Love You Long Time” hardly has any lyrics and relies on a hook being resung repetitively “boy I let you me, let you love me, let you love me long time in the velvet lounge.” It’s catchy but gets old quick. “XOXOXO” is all about texting your love to the girl (or guy) you’re in love. The song structure is pretty simple and the song features an electronic beat of automatic hand claps and a bass drum being beat and accents from a synthesizer. “Someday” focuses on making it and accomplishing your dreams and goals despite having others tell you that you won’t make it or find success. While the lyrics have some substance, the song itself is forgettable and weak. Even though her vocals are severely autotuned, Fergie’s heavy presence on “Whenever” keeps things lively and interesting on this particular track. The only thing remarkable or memorable about “Fashion Beats” is the solo in the middle by Fergie that closely emulates Debbie Harry’s rap from Blondie’s “Rapture”.

You’d expect things to turn around with “Don’t Stop the Party” but not so much. Will.i.am just inserts some awkwardly lame lyrics into the song. The only good thing I can say of the song is that the instrument backing is rather peppy and techno/club orientated – it’s just unfortunate that the lyrics don’t come close to that and fall very short of it all. “Do It Like This” has Will.i.am and Fergie rapping and when compared to some of the other tracks on this release is probably one of the best that ‘The Beginning’ has to offer – and that’s saying a lot because it’s not by any means as good as some of the group’s past big hits. It has eye-rolling lyrics and writing from Will.i.am like: “Zulu, I’m the sh*t – you the focka!” Believe me, the lyrics get far worse as the song progresses including using derogatory slams against lesbians and boasts from Will.i.am that he can turn lesbians into penis lovers.

“The Situation” is another decent track. It has a bit of a rock edge to it. Fergie does a bit more singing (though it’s more like screaming) on this track than she does on the other tracks. It’s a song all about an unbalanced relationship. This track feels a bit more inspired than the other tracks and has an energy and punch to it that’s lacking from the other tracks. “The Coming” sinks the album once more into repetitive lyrics, too much Will.i.am, screaming Fergie and uninspired music instrumentation. “Own It” is similar to “Someday” in that the message of the song is positive and encourages the listener to take charge of his or her life and aim high in life. Of the motivational tracks, this one was better than “Someday” though I don’t get why there was nothing but Will.i.am when this is a Black Eyed Peas album. “The Best One Yet (The Boy)” is pretty unremarkable and similar into all the other tracks in that the chorus is repeated non-stop to the point where you just lose interesting in listening to the track.

“Just Can’t Get Enough” finally has a nice beat you can nod your head to and though the lyrics are still weak, it made more of an impression than a lot of the other tracks. “Play It Loud” plays out the album on a rather weak and lame note and features nothing but Will.i.am singing … er … talking about how he pledges his allegiance to the music. Well, apparently that’s not a real strong pledge based on the sound of this album.

Final Verdict:
There are a few things wrong with this album. First, Will.i.am. I know, he’s the mastermind behind the group but since he’s moved into the producer sphere he’s obviously let it get into his pea-sized brain that he’s the greatest music producer and genius to be born on this Earth. He is all over this album, even to the point of the others in the group being reduced to back-up and guest appearances. He’s known for trying to spit out some quirky lyrics and these lyrics are some of the most juvenile, dumb, eye roll-worthy lyrics I’ve heard in ages. Second issue – Fergie. What the heck, Fergie? She’s had massive success as a solo artist and even on the previous BEP album we heard her actually sing a bit. Not so much on this album. When she does appear it’s mostly to scream out or shrill out a line or two. She feels missing in action on most of the album, however. As do the other members of the group because this album sounds a lot like Will.i.am’s recent failed solo artist quest. The other problem is just the music itself. Elementary rhymes, the chorus repeated to the point of wanting to hurl, all of the songs being performed and sung lazily. This album was such a let down but is aptly titled because this feels like music from the group’s beginning rather than the music of a group that’s had such massive success. If this is the best the group can produce then really this album should be the true “E.N.D.”

Listen to These: “Love You Long Time”, “The Situation”

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Album Review: Glee: The Music – The Christmas Album

Christmas is still weeks away but Glee’s gotten an early start on the holiday gift-giving season by delivering to its fans a special Christmas-themed album. These 12 tracks are some of the music to be featured in the Christmas episode “Sue The Grinch.”

Track-by-Track:
The album starts off with “We Need A Little Christmas” and features the underdogs of the show – Tina, Kurt and Mercedes. Really, this is a straight interpretation of the song equipped with the signature Glee harmonizing and Kurt’s high alto vocals. It’s a decent track but pretty forgettable since it doesn’t stray far from the original we’re all familiar with. Then comes perhaps the best track on the entire album, “Deck the Rooftop” which is an upbeat mashup of “Deck the Halls” and “Up on the Rooftop”. This is Glee at its best – taking two familiar songs and combining them to make something fresh and new. The beat behind the song isn’t very holiday or what you’d expect but rather sounds a lot like the beat from Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” (though it may not be). Amongst all the covers that adhere to the original versions, this particular song was a much welcomed departure from the well-beaten path. “Merry Christmas Darling” is a Lea Michele/Rachel track and is just okay. There’s no real surprise with the track and what you’d expect from a typical Lea Michele performance.

“Baby, It’s Cold Outside” may be the head-turning track as it’s a duet between Chris Colfer (Kurt) and Darren Criss (Blaine). I actually applaud the producers of Glee of featuring a duet between these two and pretty much making the track a bit gay without making a big deal about it. Their two voices go well together and the performance of this well-known track is good. “The Most Wonderful Day of the Year” features Artie, Rachel, Kurt, Sam, Tina & Brittany all singing this song about the toys from the island of misfit toys. Again, another straight interpretation of the original track which makes it feel a bit too dated and old for such a young group of people. Things get back on track with “Last Christmas”, that has a more modern-beat and production and fits the young cast well. “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” is another of the album’s better tracks as it features the women of Glee (Mercedes, Rachel, Santana and Tina) and most of the song is performed a capella but once the music kicks in, the beat is more R&B and fresh than what you’d expect.

Matthew Morrison (Will Schuester) takes on “O Christmas Tree” and does well with it. He tries to insert a little of that awkward Will Schuester soul-singing into it and shows off his vocals a bit. “Jingle Bells” is the guy’s number and is a bit of a big band/swing/jive interpretation of the song.  I’m not sure why every time Puck is involved in a song it suddenly has to be swing and a styled like a Rat Pack song. “You’re A Mean One Mr. Grinch” is probably the track that annoys me because I’m sure it plays well within the actual Glee Christmas episode coming, “Sue The Grinch”. But the song itself, with Matthew Morrison/Will narrating the classic tale is just annoying and not something I can sit through. Things get back on track with Amber Riley’s (Mercedes) gospel-take on “Angels We Have Heard On High”. I liked this track because the gospel style hasn’t been used much on Glee and Mercedes is given a track to be in the spotlight without having Rachel (Lea Michele) to contend with. This to me is some of the best vocals on the album to the point that you forget this is Glee you’re listening to. As with most episodes of Glee, Rachel gets the last word (or song) and takes on “O Holy Night.” Her vocals on this track are probably the best of Rachel on this particular album and is everything fans of the show would expect or want from a Lea Michele performance.

Final Verdict:
Overall, Glee’s Christmas album is okay. My complaint is that too many of the songs are just too safe and too close to the original versions we’re all used to. I’d have liked to have heard a bit more originality come into play as with the “Deck the Rooftop” mashup. I know, it’s Christmas music but some of the arrangements of the songs feel too old and dated for this group of young singers. I’d think they’d insert a bit more personality, modernity and originality into the music to make it more of their own but it feels like we’re just getting some Christmas songs for the sake of selling an album and making a profit. Probably my least favorite music release from Glee so far.

Listen to These: “Deck the Rooftop”, “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”, “O Holy Night”

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Album Review: Ke$ha’s ‘Cannibal’

On November 22, 2010 Ke$ha’s unleashing new music onto the world with a new EP/mini album, ‘Cannibal’. This album is a companion to the re-release of her first album, ‘Animal’ but it shows Ke$ha’s grown a bit as a music personality and knows her corner of the market better now than she did at the start of her career. ‘Cannibal’ tips it hat to all that was good and successful with the first album: catchy music, pop hits, songs that you can easily picture being played on the radio, songs about partying and other un-lady like activities. In other words, ‘Cannibal’ is really the epitome of Ke$ha and her whole look/style.

Track-by-Track:
The title track “Cannibal” gets your attention with its pop-take on a tribal/predatory beat. Ke$ha’s on the hunt and warns that she eats boys up for breakfast and lunch, that she’s going to suck on some teeth and more. While singing of cannibalism probably isn’t the most politically correct thing to do, she makes the song into a catchy, attention-grabbing track about taking no prisoners in her quest for domination. “We R Who We R”, a Billboard 100 #1 song, is where the party really begins. It’s a party track that’s all about being young and living life to the fullest and having a good time. The track’s backed up by a percolating synth/techno track is one of the tracks from the album that will easily have you on your feet. “Sleazy” has Ke$ha rapping over a repeating command of “get sleazy”. It’s not the strongest track but hearing Ke$ha attempt to rap is pretty entertaining and amusing, though I’m sure that wasn’t the original intent.

The album switches gears from the awkward hip-hop/rapping to the more familiar territory of dance music with “Blow”. It’s another track about partying, being young and carefree and just having fun. “Blow” features a catchy chorus and is a track you’d expect to hear being played at the start of any DJ set in a club. “This place’s about to blow” and “go insane, go insane, throw some glitter make it rain on ’em, make it rain, let me see dem Hanes” and the word “blow” being repeated and chopped up repeatedly all make for a great dance track and one of the albums’ highlights. “The Harold Song” is a slower, ballad-track and interesting because Ke$ha’s never been great at pulling off the more emotional downtempo tracks. With this track she inserts a bit of a dance beat to break up the slowness and sings the chorus in a manner that reminds you of Katy Perry’s “California Gurls.” The lyrics are a bit forgettable as is the song but it’s probably her most successful attempt yet at a ballad track. “Crazy Beautiful Life” is an upbeat, semi-autobiographical song with Ke$ha describing all of the things that makes her current life interesting and enjoyable. It’s catchy though the lyrics don’t stand out all that much.

“Grow A Pear” is another of the ‘Cannibals’ stand-out tracks that could easily be another single and have some success. It’s a bit of a diss track and again, it reminds me a bit of Katy Perry in style with the singing and the play on words. Ke$ha is probably at her best and comes off as authentic on this track where she lectures her boyfriend about how he’s acting like a chick, how she can’t date a guy who has a ‘vag’ and that her guy needs to grow a “pear” before he decides to call her back. It’s all a bit juvenile but it fits perfectly with her style and overall look. “C U Next Tuesday” (spelling and alluding to a rather naughty word) is a cutesy track but one that leaked on the Internet a while back and is along the lines of a ballad. Again, ballads are not Ke$ha’s forte and this track in particular feels watered down and weak when stacked up against some of the album’s club anthems. The album ends with the Billboard remix of “Animal”. This remix is a bit trippy and organic and reminiscent a little of classic Bjork musically at the start and differs from the original version with a less pop-ish treatment that slows the song down considerably but makes it a tad bit more interesting and mature than the original take.

Final Verdict:
Though there are a few skip-worthy tracks, overall ‘Cannibal’ is worth sinking your teeth into. It shows that after the success of her first album, Ke$ha is starting to identify and define her musical style and tastes. She’s definitely better when she’s singing about partying, being reckless, going through men and different club scenes but this album shows some improvement with her ballad and vulnerability coming through the music.

Listen to These: “Grow A Pear”, “Crazy Beautiful Life”, “Cannibal”, “Blow”

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Album Review: Christina Aguilera & Cher’s ‘Burlesque’ Soundtrack

Earlier this year Christina Aguilera returned to the music scene after an extended absence with the panned, ill-received ‘Bionic’. I personally had a list of unflattering comments about Aguilera’s recent musical direction including one about how she seemed to put aside her voice and talent to lazily rely on computers and autotune to carry her songs, that she just seemed vain and overall that I wasn’t sure what’d happened to the one time powerhouse singer. Well, she redeems herself with ‘Burlesque’. The soundtrack for the film is rather short and sweet but it packs a punch and leaves an impression. ‘Burlesque’ is all about a small-town girl with big dreams who moves to L.A. and ends up in a Pussycat Dolls-like cabaret/burlesque club that’s seen it’s better days and is run by Tess, played by Cher. The music can be described as soulful, a bit dated but satisfying nonetheless. Style wise, if you enjoyed Aguilera’s ‘Back to Basics’ era where she channeled the bygone era of music and didn’t rely on modern tricks of the trade like autotune but instead sang her behind off, you’ll like the ‘Burlesque’ soundtrack. This feels like a Christina Aguilera album more so than a film soundtrack – sure, the movie’s tagline boasts that “it takes a legend (Cher) to make a star (Christina Aguilera)” but this album has just two musical appearances by the legend known as Cher. Slightly disappointing, but overall the movie’s music is worth listening to.

Track by Track:
“Something’s Got a Hold On Me” is the first track and does well in re-establishing Christina Aguilera’s diva license after the atrocious monstrosity that was ‘Bionic’. This is an old-school track that’ll remind you of an old Motown classic and opens with Aguilera’s signature vocal runs that show off her range and ability to really dig her heels in and hit some great notes. “Welcome to Burlesque” is Cher’s first song from the film and I have to say … I wasn’t impressed. It has a minstrel/carnival vibe and has Cher playing the role of seductress as she pulls us into the main setting of the club. I’d say the song is “cutesy” and the actual performance on screen will probably be a lot more memorable than just the song. “Tough Lover” is similar to “Something’s Got A Hold On Me” in that the first 30 seconds or so has no instruments other than Aguilera’s voice and is pure perfection and everything we’d expect from her voice and what was absent from her most recent album. The song itself is fun, a bit boogie-woogie in style and short, to the point. “I Am A Good Girl” has Aguilera singing a song that seems fit for Marilyn Monroe. It’s very old school Hollywood, a bit of a tease song wise with the lyrics posing the question what she’s done to earn her lavish life and luxurious accessories to which she replies, “What? I am a good girl!”

“A Guy That Takes His Time” sounds a lot like “I Got Trouble” from Aguilera’s ‘Back to Basics’ album. As you can tell from the title, the lyrics are a bit suggestive but the beat and style are such a throwback to the jazz era of music that it makes the track one of Aguilera’s best performances on the album. “Express” is one of the more modern-sounding tracks. It starts off with trumpets and snapping but transitions into a beat that’s a bit electronic but what’s likable about this track is that unlike the past songs, this song had Aguilera singing in an aggressive, no-holds-barge manner. “You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me” is Cher’s moment to shine in the spotlight and I have to say, it’s the best track on the entire album. It’s this film’s very own “And I Am Telling You (I’m Not Going)” and Cher really belts out this ballad about facing obstacles and being determined to persevere. Listening to the lyrics you can’t help but to feel like this is more of a song about Cher than it is her character and that it was crafted just for her and I have to say – this song is Cher’s best in years and is absolutely breathtaking and exceeds all expectations. Too bad this is the last track and only 1 of 2 musical moments we have of the legendary Cher.

“Show Me How You Burlesque” is a bit of a call-and-response track and big-band/swing in style. “A little bit of naughty is a little bit nice” Aguilera and her backup singers chant. “Bound to You” is Christina’s big ballad of the movie and after all of her throw-back tracks hitting on the different eras of music, it was nice to hear things slow down and hear Aguilera take on an emotional tear-jerker of a track. It’s similar to her recent ‘Bionic’ single “You Lost Me” but even better with how she seemed to put herself within the music and lyrics. It starts off a bit timid and gradually builds into a powerful, stirring track about how her character’s finally found a man she can trust and confide in. Though the other tracks of hers are catchy, this feels like her most authentic and genuine showing yet. The final track, “Beautiful People” is an upbeat, fun, pop song which kind of feels out of place style wise with the rest of the album but it’s a great track regardless.

Final verdict:
Considering this soundtrack features mostly songs by Christina Aguilera, it’s hard not to compare ‘Burlesque’ and its quality to Aguilera’s most recent album effort ‘Bionic’. Really, they are two completely different projects with ‘Burlesque’ being far superior. Here we have the Christina Aguilera we all love and like – fun, upbeat, pushing the envelope but overall, one who isn’t afraid of singing and isn’t relying on autotune and is just doing her own thing. I do have a few criticism, one of them mainly being Cher. How can you contract and nab such a big musical legend for a movie musical and only have her singing on two tracks, one of which feels quite forgettable musically? It seems like a big waste of her musical talent though I am sure she makes up for it with some of her acting and scenes. The only other thing I’d complain about is how the writers seemed to feel like the audience needed to be remembered what movie they were watching by working “burlesque” into as many songs and lyrics as they could. Still, it was nice to hear Aguilera actually singing and being the impressive performer we’ve known to her to be. It’s a short little album, clocking in under 40 minutes, but offers some great Aguilera musical moments and a nice new song from Cher. If you were a fan of Christina’s ‘Back to Basics’ album, ‘Burlesque’ is for you. If you weren’t, you’ll probably want to pass on this.

Listen to These: “Bound To You”, “You Haven’t Seen the Last Of Me”, “I Am A Good Girl”, “Beautiful People”

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Man Crush of the Day: Model and Adult Star Michael Fitt

We’ve been asking our followers on Twitter (Follow us @man_crush) who we should feature on the blog and we’ve gotten some really good recommendations. This one comes from fellow blogger @gaypornfanatic who hipped us to the very hot Michael Fitt. You’ve probably seen this guy’s pictures all over the Internet but never knew his name. Well, now you do and here’s a bit more about the guy that has everyone abuzz.

Michael Fitt, as his name implies, is all about fitness and his body. At 5’9″, brown hair, blue eyes and rippling abs and muscles, he’s probably the subject to many’s scandalous fantasies and dreams. He plays a variety of sports including basketball, wrestling and volleyball and makes his body and fitness his number one priority. There’s also a lot of substance to this guy – not only did he work as a personal trainer while his career began to take off but he’s into art and won scholarships that helped him out in school. Good looks and a brain: swoon! Check out his website and follow him on Twitter. We try to keep things semi-decent on the blog but tip toe on over to our Tumblr site for a few uncensored pics of the wonderfully-sculpted Michael Fitt.

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Man Crush of the Day: ‘One Life to Live’ star Mark Lawson

People always wonder why women (and gay men) like soap operas. Most soaps have the most ridiculous plots, worst acting and often require one to suspend all logic and reason to follow along. Here’s a secret – soap fans know all of that. The reason to watch a soap is for the sex and skin. Mark Lawson is one of the stars of ABC’s One Life To Live where he plays Lt. Brody Lovett.

Like many actors, he had a bit of a struggle to get to where he is now. He earned his BFA in musical theatre from the Boston Conservatory and studied at the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art. He later moved to L.A. with acting aspirations but found little was happening for him. He was about to give up when he auditioned for One Life to Live and was cast in the role of ex-NAVY seal Brody Lovett. The best thing about his character, and him, is that he’s often seen shirtless in the show. This guy looks like a real-life Wolverine. Broad chested, defined muscle, chiseled feature, usually sporting a little scruff and piercing blue eyes – ah! It should come as no surprise that when he’s not acting he’s working out and is a personal trainer. Where can I sign up for a session or two? I have a few muscles that need pumping.

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